Part One - Chapter Five

5. Chapter Five

"On the turning away From the pale and downtrodden Which we won't understand "Don't accept that what's happening Is just a case of other's suffering Or you'll find that you're joining in The turning away".

- Pink Floyd
"On the Turning Away" from "A Momentary Lapse of Reason"

I missed the 60's in any meaningful way. I grew up and met my teenage years in the early 70's. But, there was much attachment to the movement that occurred then. Steven King recently wrote a book about that period called "Hearts in Atlantis". It was a classic novel in his style, but not a horror story. I remember a comment by him in a prolog or was it an epilog that went something like...
"Despite what you might believe the 60's happened"

The most intense things in our lives are those things that we bury in our subconscious. My father said that there were many from the time of Atlantis that chose to came back to experience the 60's, because the time here was so much like it was during Atlantis.

He had times of vision where he was thrown back to Atlantis. He remembered vividly the times of the life he lived there and then. I could tell that he missed it. I have often wondered why my father chose to come back, but in the final analysis, I think it was me. He and I had lived many lifetimes together. He was an important part of my environment.

He remembered much and kept alot of it to himself. All of us do that. We don't share those things that are outside of the realm of accepted belief. Our society imposes a perspective and an expectation that we act in a certain way, and express certain ideas and beliefs. Outside of those are taboos of which are not to be spoken. Anything that shakes the view and vision of the world that we have is not to be spoken of let alone accepted.

Isn't that what makes NightMagick such a taboo? Darkness being good? Can't be. If it is dark it must be evil. Isn't that what we are taught?

So what made the 60's so important? It shook the foundations of the establishment. It shook the acceptance of what happens, it awoke the human consciousness.

There was more creativity at that time then there has been in ages. Emotion is the center and initiator of creativity.

So where does it all lead...

Where is your future? Why are you here. Why am I here.


"Don't let the sun catch you cryin'."


My cousin was drafted and went to Vietnam. He is still there. His body came home.

We hid the horrors of our lives back then. We did not discuss out loud the problems in our lives. Buried deep in our subconscious are the emotions we were afraid to share. Perhaps others would laugh or ostrasize us. If we share the wrong in our lives then there must be something wrong with us. We must not be weird or strange

If there was something in our lives we could not handle, such as the trauma of a war, we accept the belief that the fact we cannot handle it is our problem. Not that the experience might be beyond the bounds of what we are expected to accept.

The 60's were where we learned to let it out.

But there are still things of which we cannot speak. The horrors of a war are one thing. The corruption of a system is one thing. But the shaking of a reality is quite another.

What is true in your life today. What is real? Who are you. Is2+2 really 4? Do you hate or is there love in your heart. What motivates you? Greed, giving, love, or personal gain? Are you in pursuit of power and control? Is that what compensates you for what you have lost or for what someone else has taken from you?

When you sleep do you dream? Do you visit another world? Do you astral travel? Do they come for you in the night?

How does it feel? How does it feel to be on your own, with no direction home. Like a rollin' stone?

They came often for me in the night. I must have had a beacon like a light house upon me. For they came so often........


"Hey I want you to meet someone." Steve said.


"Someone I met in college."

Steve and I had started to explore meditation. Steve had discovered Alan Parsons and I had gotten married. Introspective music and trapped.

It was 1980, and it was one evening. I was used to protecting my spirit. I remember I did not make a good impression upon Phil. He looked into my soul and I shut it down. I think that irritated him. I also wonder in hind-site if at that meeting he had another perspective on what was to be accomplished than I did.

"You were a wizard in another life... " Said Phil,

"You used people with your powers..."

"A Dark magician in front of an altar with a woman on the altar...."

I was shocked. Instantly I pulled down the curtain and cut off his view. Phil was shocked, and upset by that action. I learned later that he told Steve that I had growing to do and he would not teach me until I had learned a great deal.

Well I think what Phil failed to recognize was that I had no idea who he was or what he represented. More so I was embarrassed to be associated with what appeared to be an evil path. It was a lifetime that I knew that I had done wrong in, but the extent of that wrong was not clear to me and I did not want someone else peering into a past life and memory that I had that I did not understand and might be afraid of.

I didn't see Phil for a while after that. Steve and I worked on learning to control what was in us and trying to Astral Travel for some time.

It would be some time before I saw Phil again.